Note: My first language is not English so please forgive the multiple errors in grammar. : )
Today is the day when the most anticipated movie adaptation of the book It Ends with Us comes out, and leading up to it I keep remembering my time reading the book, how it made me feel and the realization I had after reading it, which to be honest scared me a little bit. To share my experience let's go back to October 9th, 2021, that was the day I began to read the book after seeing it countless times in my Tik Tok For You Page. I usually go into books blind and this one was not the exception. I had no clue what the book was about, all I knew was that it had made a lot of people on BookTok cry. I finished the book two days later, a very rare thing for me since I am a slow reader. Basically, I got sucked into the story and could not put the book down.
The feelings and experience I had with this story kept haunting me ever since I finished the book, and now that the movie is out and I will be going to see it, I am once again reminded of my time reading the book. Like I mentioned before, I had no idea what this book was about. When events started unfolding between Lily and Ryle, at first I felt heartbroken. My thoughts at the moment were like, "Oh no dude don't do that.". Later on they changed to, "Oh Lily he is trying to change, please give him a chance". By the end of the book my thoughts were, " What the hell is wrong with me".
I am not a victim of domestic violence nor have I ever been. I don't know what is like to be on the shoes of those who have had to endure abuse. The fact that I wanted Lily to forgive Ryle, that I did not like Atlas because I felt he was in the way of Lily giving Ryle a chance scared the bejesus out of me when I finished the book. It was that last line in the book that hit me, and brought me back to my senses, because I am a mother, I'm a mama lion and I would give my life for my children. Lily's choice was the correct choice, no doubt, sadly many don’t have it as easy and I would learn that later on hearing stories from victims. Afterwards I kept thinking, if I was ever put in that type of situation, what would I have done? Would I have end up being someone who stood by the abuser no matter what? I grew up being taught that whoever loves you does not hurt you, but that sure went out the window while reading the book, I wanted Lily to forgive Ryle until that last lines of the book. Would I have been someone who would always try to see the positive and stay? I was 36 years old when I read the book, I was not a teenager dreaming of happily ever afters and prince charming, I was a grown woman, I knew of all the horrible things that happen in life. Seriously, what the hell was wrong with me? Ryle never deserved a second chance.
Never in a million years I would have thought that a book would end up making me second guess myself. I would say that one of the ways life has taught me lessons multiple times is with the "Never say never" phrase. I could think of maybe 3-5 times in my lifetime in which life has shown me that you could very easily end up doing or saying that which you once said you would never. “I would never let a man abuse me” yet here I was rooting for the bad guy.
I learned from people who have gone through it that there is so much to it. Many people who put up with abuse and make the choice to stay are people who might have been abuse all their lives and don’t know any different. People who can’t or don’t have the resources to seek treatment, people who simply can’t leave for whatever reason. There is so much to it that only those who lived through it will understand.
My heart aches for all those people who have had to experience emotional, physical or any type of abuse by the hands of those who claimed to love them. To those who fight daily looking for a way out from this type of hell. Sadly many live this without the resources to leave or the helping hand of someone willing to help them out and many times are judged instead of helped. Many are too afraid to do anything that would further anger the beast they live with. There is no one in this planet who deserves to be abused. IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE GOING THROUGH IT AND HAVE STUMBLED UPON THIS POST, PLEASE KNOW THAT WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS NOT, NOT WILL IT EVER BE YOUR FAULT.
As far as the movie goes, now that I am thinking straight, I know I will not see Ryle the same way and I will love Atlas as much as Lily : ) I guess the only thing about movie Ryle that I like is the fact that it is being played by Justin Baldoni. I could never in a million years see him as a character like Ryle, but I love when actors play characters so far from themselves. I love the rest of the cast also and can't wait to see the movie.
IF YOU OR ANYBODY YOU KNOW IS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PLEASE CONTACT THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE. The Hotline can be accessed via the nationwide number 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224 or (206) 518-9361 (Video Phone Only for Deaf Callers). The Hotline provides service referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico, Guam and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
